Mastering life is a utopia – after all, if achieving it was easy (or possible) there wouldn’t be so many self-help books out there. But! Moving forward in life is possible. Actually – it’s rather easy. The minute we consciously decide that we want it. Down here you’ll find 10 stupid little things that may be preventing you from moving forward in your life. Enjoy!
1. If you’re waiting for a change on the calendar to make a difference, you haven’t learned anything yet
If you think that New Year’s day and eve are a great time to re-evaluate the previous year and set goals for the new one, then I’ll have to disappoint you – that’s not quite right. If you’re not re-evaluating your actions regularly and think that you can go for 365 days without checking in with yourself, chances are you will be late with the changes that need to happen.
But if you have – don’t beat yourself up. Make your last NY resolution to never wait for the calendar to determine your life.
2. If you’re counting your problems, instead of your blessings, you haven’t learned anything yet
Have you heard the saying “What you feed grows, and what you starve dies”? If you’re focusing on your problems they will only grow bigger. Starve them, instead. Laugh in their faces. Find out what are the things that will solve those issues. If you can’t see a solution – ask friends or even random people. You’d be surprised how easy it may be to solve a problem. Even a complicated one. But first things first: all problems seem smaller the second you start counting your blessings.
3. If you’re afraid to fall in love because you might get hurt, you haven’t learned anything yet
Remember the first ever holiday you went on? I bet it was awesome or, at least, the awesome parts of it are everything we tend to remember years later. It’s the same with love – even if you get hurt along the way and it ends, everything you’ll remember after several years will be the good stuff. So why limit yourself from that? Go stupid in love and enjoy it!
4. If you have a bucket list you haven’t learned anything yet
You think that the expression “If you want to make God laugh, make plans” is a cliché? Think twice! Having a general idea for how you want your life to go is awesome. But making plans is a sure way to get disappointed. Why? Because it’s very likely that life will happen along the way and mess with your plans. And instead of enjoying the weirdness of the events you may end up stuck in frustration because your plans are destroyed. Take a chill pill, burn that bucket list, and open yourself to the surprises of your destiny.
5. If there are still people in your life you’re mad at, you haven’t learned anything yet
Reach out and take the first thing you can reach. Now hold it for as long as you can. You’ll see that it won’t seem like a big deal the first couple of minutes. Then it starts annoying you over time because while holding it you can’t really do much. If you don’t give up and drop it at some point you’ll realize that something seemingly light will start feeling heavy.
Negative emotions towards others are pretty much the same thing. And although you may not feel their physical weight they’re undoubtedly bothering your existence and preventing the entry of true joy and happiness in your life. So, for the sake of you, let go! Besides – you can’t expect to hurt someone else with the poison you’re swallowing, right?
6. If you spend every minute alone on your phone or online you haven’t learned anything yet
New technology is brilliant! Seriously – if it wasn’t for Mac’s amazing laptops and the internet, I wouldn’t have been able to have this blog.
As awesome as the access to information may be, however, it creates so much noise that we often forget to listen to ourselves. And no, I am not talking about the crazy voice that screams in your head when someone pisses you off – I am talking about the thought we have and often can’t hear.
So, give yourself the present of listening. It will be quiet at the start (that’s how technological detox feels) but be persistent and you may find out that you and yourself can have a lot more fun than you’ve ever imagined.
7. If you think that you should treat people the way they treat you, you haven’t learned anything yet
The way a person acts doesn’t say anything about others, but speaks volumes about him. If you have an asshole in your life – be it a friend, lover, boss, colleague, or whatever – and you start answering back with the same behavior, then you, my friend, have been defeated.
Don’t give those people the joy of winning over you. Be the better person instead and simply walk away.
8. If you feel stuck in your life, then you haven’t learned anything yet
That’s one of the most annoying things someone can tell you, but I love you and I have to: your life is your responsibility. I am not saying that you’re responsible for everyone’s actions or for everything that happens to you. But you are responsible for the amount of attention you’re giving it.
If there are bad things in your life – get angry! Scream, cry, break something. And move on. Do the things that make you happy. Do the things that make you feel fulfilled when you go to bed at night. That’s all that matters!
9. If you feel disappointed by people you haven’t learned anything yet
So you loved her, she left and you feel disappointed? She is ungrateful? She never turned back to check up on you? Well, people are selfish. And those who seem like they are not, are simply obsessive (give them a while and you’ll see they’ll suck on your energy). So that makes them selfish, too.
In any case – no one owes you anything and you better get used to the fact that you’ll receive things by others when this will work for them. In fact – you’re probably the same! You may spend hours in the kitchen doing pancakes for your family, so you can have this awesome Sunday breakfast together. And you think you’re doing it to make them happy? Sorry to break it for you, but you’re doing it because it gives you satisfaction. Because you have that image of the perfect Sunday breakfast in your head. Ask your teenage daughter – she couldn’t possibly care less.
And with that in mind – stop projecting your expectations on people and stop being disappointed by them. Instead, cherish the ones that share your views of the world and enjoy putting an effort into creating the same image you both have in your minds.
10. If you’re not changing something about your life at least once every six months, you haven’t learned anything yet.
Comfort is awesome! In fact, it’s so awesome that I’ll be jumping in the comfort of my bed right after I publish this. But comfort is boring. And you know the saying – if you’re not moving forward, you’re moving backwards. To ensure you’re remaining relevant, interesting and interested, and most of all – evolving, change something in your life at least every 6 months. It doesn’t need to be something big – change your eating habits, the way you drink your coffee or tea, the tools you use – whatever it is, it will help you expand your horizons and will turn you into the type of a person everyone wants to have around.