If you have an international surrounding there is a very high likelihood that one of your friends is married to a Bulgarian girl or at least has dated one. This isn’t because Bulgaria intentionally sends women to foreign countries to try and spread our genes. Although that’s not a bad idea, the actual reason is simple: Bulgarian girls are STUNNING! And I don’t mean to say that girls from other countries are not! It’s simply that we’ve got more beauty per square meter than Sahara has sand. In other words: if you are a guy coming to Bulgaria you will have a very hard time concentrating on anything else but the girls around.
So, what happens when you decide to date a Bulgarian girl? Simple? Hell, no! And just because I’m really cool I’ll give you some insights.
#1 The grey area has more than 50 shades of grey: Bulgarian “muffins”
Silicone in the lips and the breasts, make up, tight clothes, jewelery, colored hair, and a princess/prostitute behaviour. If you’re thinking of a gold digger, you are quite wrong. In Bulgaria we call them muffins (don’t ask). They may remind you of the western gold diggers but that is not exactly the case and you’d be seriously fooled if you perceive them like ones. Here are the few things you need to know about them:
- They are shockingly smart! I’m not talking about intelligence here, so pay attention! Bulgarian “muffins” may not know all the capitals, yet they can capture you in their net by the time you say your name.
- They’re good housewives. Unlike in the West, a home cooked meal is the king in Bulgaria and our local “muffins” can WOW you with their kitchen skills. Not to mention that most of them are nuts when it comes to cleaning. Best thing about them: they will look like Angelina Jolie on the red carpet while making sure the house shines.
- They are sensitive and vulnerable. Yet, Bulgarian “muffins” hide behind a perfectly performed “I don’t care” attitude. They’ll let you in their lives and hearts, but God forbid you break their trust. Women can be quite revengeful.
- You don’t want to cheat on a Bulgarian “muffin”. If you do, they’ll make your world miserable. Try and get astronaut training if that’s the plan.
- They’re addicting. I’m a woman and I can’t really tell you why this is, but I’ve seen the aftereffect over and over again. There’s something about Bulgarian “muffins” which makes them addicting and once you get your first dose you’re hooked for life!
If you’re a guy reading this you probably expect me to tell you that they are good in bed. Well, I wouldn’t know, right 😉
#2 Promises? We’ve heard those. Got something new?
Bulgarian girls are not the usual cry babies. They have been handling life by themselves for quite a while, so unless you are as strong as they are you might be seen as a liability, not an asset. We’re talking physical and emotional strength. You need to be able to carry shopping bags with the same wise and steady attitude you’ll use to calm her after a tough day at work.
And since Bulgarian girls are quite emotional as well, you need to be prepared for some serious fighting that includes tears, shouting, insults, and God knows what more. BUT! You should remain wise and calm as much as your testosterone allows, as she will not tolerate you being rude.
In reality (and I am saying this with a heavy heart) Bulgarian women generally stand by their partners even when insulted and treated poorly. Don’t let this fool you though – she might do it for all kinds of reasons which do not include love. Feeling sorry because she realizes no one else would stand you, could easily be one of those reasons. In my personal experience empathy doesn’t last forever, so if you’re rude you will be shown the door eventually.
#3 Man up: coffee is not a date!
Yeah, it’s the 21st century and everyone is busy… Blah, blah, blah. Coffee invitation is not a date. Neither is afterwork drinks. A date is a date and you know what it is – don’t be a pussy. Man up and take the girl to a real date!
If you are taking your lady somewhere fancy (which you should do), you need to behave as if you dance salsa. In other words – your only job is to lead while making sure she shines out. If you have a show off side, make sure you cover it well.
Be aware that for the past 20 years Bulgarian men have become quite annoying trying to constantly show off. There are girls that will easily write you off if you think you’re larger than life. The “muffins” or muffin-like girls will tolerate more of that, but all the rest of my sisters will probably think you are an idiot. I suggest being moderate to the maximum of your abilities. Test your waters first and see how much of a “golden boy” she can handle.
#4 Who pays the bill when going out with Bulgarian girls?
Here’s how it works around here: if you invite a girl, you pay the bill. That simple. She might offer to add something, but if you really want to be perceived as a man, you better not accept. If you are wondering whether she might feel intimidated because of that: don’t. Emancipation doesn’t exactly have the same meaning on the Balkans as it does in most Western countries.
For a Bulgarian girl things look like this: if I pay my part of the bill, that means we’re buddies. Do you really want a one way ticket to “friends zone”?
#5 Parents are the cool gang. Friends are, however, seriously judgemental.
I’m sure you’ve said or heard the “I don’t do parents” expression at least once. Well, if you’re dating a Bulgarian girl, forget that one. Meeting her parents won’t mean you’re about to propose. It will simply mean you’re meeting two grown-ups that will most likely love you more than your own mum and dad.
If you’re meeting her friends, however, that’s big! They are usually the ones that she will only introduce a serious relationship to. So, if this is about to happen: make sure you are your best self.
#6 Future plans: do or shut up.
Bulgarians are cynical by definition and have serious issues with trust. Or trust has issues with them – it’s really hard to tell which way this relationship goes. The bottom line is that the more you talk about future plans, the less she’ll trust you.
People here are used to hearing empty words and even serious commitments sound ridiculous. If you really want to impress a lady, the furthest period in time you are “allowed” to plan for is a week ahead. When you prove that you can actually execute your ideas several times in a row you can then (and only then) talk about the future.
#7 Forget about the 3 days or any other rule you might have in your suitcase.
If you liked her and had a good time: call her the day after. Even better – make sure she falls asleep knowing you want to see her again. Don’t forget that she probably doesn’t know about the traditions in your home country and if you try to apply them you can get her really confused.
#8 Take her home.
Now don’t get all excited! What I’m saying is: take her to her place when the date is over. You might think this is old-fashioned, but in Bulgaria it is still one of the things that will impress a woman and she’ll see you differently.
Not driving? No problem: taxis are not at all expensive here. Grab one, take her to her place, and then go home. You’ll definitely be given extra credit!
Just be aware that driving after her to make sure she’s home safe (if she came with a car) is creepy on a whole new level!