Lifestyle Thinking out loud

13 ways to lose the respect of an intelligent lady

Lets imagine a situation: you met a girl a while ago, went out a couple of times and suddenly she stops returning your calls. Why?

Have you ever been rejected by a woman who simply stops answering phone calls or messages? It’s annoying, I know. Especially because it’s hard to understand what has gone wrong, when you can’t even get feedback. If you believe that she is an intelligent lady (which is perhaps even more confusing) then read on – there’s a large chance you find the answer here.

Before I begin listing the possible reasons, I feel the need to clarify my understanding of an intelligent woman. So, for the sake of a good blog post, here’s my definition:

An intelligent woman is one that has both, a high IQ and emotional intelligence (meaning she understands her own and other people’s emotions and can act accordingly). The intelligent woman knows her worth but doesn’t walk about with a price tag; she’s confident but never arrogant; she is empathetic, but you can’t fool her; she’s a warrior, and her weapon of choice is love.

So, if you’ve ever met a woman like that and she walked away, here are several things that may have provoked her to do so.

1. Try to impress her with possessions.

So you have a Mercedes, live in a mansion which looks like the Louvre, and dress according to the latest fashion? Wonderful. What is it then that you’re missing in your life, love, and you need to replace it with objects?

See, intelligent women know that those who invest too much in accumulating riches and surrounding themselves with pricey items are simply trying to fill a hole in their souls. It may sound too spiritual to some, but there is a massive difference between having what makes life comfortable and showing off. The latter is what losers do, and intelligent women don’t want anything to do with such people. Shania Twain said it best: That don’t impress me much.

2. Be needy and demanding all the time.

Yes, I can help you and proofread your business plan. No, I cannot send it myself, and no, I can’t do this meeting for you. If you can’t deal with your own sh*t, you don’t need me. What you need is your momma, boy. Call her – I am not here to breastfeed you.

Yes, it’s true that intelligent women are really good in some areas and don’t mind showing off with their abilities every now and then. If you, however, ask them to do everything for you, you’re buying your ticket out of her memories. We can tell the difference between helping and nursing a person, and unless we’ve given birth, we don’t want to nurse anyone.

3. Constantly criticize everything.

Yes, most politicians are corrupt, the system is wrong, religious extremism is idiotic – we agree. These are statements we won’t object to. If you, however, look for the negative side of everything to justify the poor choices you’ve made in your life, then we have a problem.

The need to criticize is usually the need to focus attention outwards, instead of inwards, and intelligent women spot this right away. If you want her to start analyzing your confidence (or the lack of it), and the reasons you may feel insecure, then please, go ahead and criticize. But if you don’t want to lose her respect, be modest in your comments for other people’s faults.

4. Cheat on your girlfriend/wife.

So, you’ve cheated on your wife/girlfriend, but you’ll be faithful in the next relationship? Mmmhm. Have you got any other jokes or this is the end of your repertoire?

Do you know why certain phrases become popular (example: once a cheater, always a cheater)? It is because statistically speaking they apply to most people. And the few who fall out of the general statistics – well, they don’t talk about it, their actions do.

5. Don’t have a good life/work balance.

Of course I was dreaming of a relationship in which I spend Christmas, Thanksgiving, Easter and all other important moments alone! I mean, seriously, who hasn’t!

On the serious note: being intelligent is also defined by one’s ability to create a good work/life balance. We all know that there are times in life when you may need to work harder for X amount of months or years, and this is completely acceptable if you have an end goal. But if you don’t, and simply excuse yourself with being a workaholic, I regret to tell you that you’re not intelligent… Sorry…

6. Don’t have a hobby.

You REALLY have no other interests besides making money??? You’re kidding, right?

To me, it is heartbreaking seeing people who are so pathetic (and I don’t mean it as an insult) that nothing sparks their interest. Think about it: if you don’t have a hobby, then you likely spend your time either chasing other people and asking for their attention or doing something such as watching TV, aimlessly browsing the net or even worse: taking drugs and/or drinking till you collapse. Well, in this case, I am sorry to say but there is no room around intelligent people for you. You would simply be useless since you’re not developed enough to enrich their life in any way.

7. Don’t have goals.

Have a nice life then, goodbye.

I don’t have much to add to this one – I think it’s pretty self-explanatory.

8. Don’t read.

Of course watching “American Pie” and “Scary Movie” equals reading 1984 or Macbeth. Who would ever dare question it!

Now, seriously; intelligent people read. Reading develops imagination and people’s ability to think for themselves. How could one claim to be intelligent without reading??? It’s like claiming to be full-blooded American when you have ginger hair and family pictures with kilts…

9. Make statements about yourself.

I don’t like talking. I prefer proving what I am about with my actions. I am a very private person. I care about honesty above all. I, I, I.

If I only had a dollar for every time I heard a bold statement! Sadly, we don’t get paid for listening to BS. People need to stop making statements, especially after they turn 17 years old. This is something that begins in teenage years and is supposed to end when you are a grown-up person (chld development science speaking, not me). If you want others to know you – tell them your story. They’ll come up with their own statements.

10. Make bold statements about your future.

I will be the king of the world, and you’ll be my queen!

Dude, unless you are a rap singer, and you get paid for talking nonsense, shut up, would you? There’s hardly anything more immature than this. Have you heard the saying: “If you want to make God laugh, make plans”? Well, if you hadn’t, now you did.

11. Try to change her schedule.

There’s nothing intelligent women love more than people who believe their opinions or lives are more important than anyone else’s. It’s the ultimate turn-on. Not.

Intelligence has it’s “downsides”, one of which is being a responsible person. Responsible to society, family, friends, even to yourself. And part of being responsible is the ability to schedule your time in a way that allows you to spare a little for everything that matters to you. There’s nothing more annoying than someone who walks into your life believing that all of the sudden you will change your schedule to fit his, simply because… Wait, there’s no reason whatsoever!

12. Spit on the street.

Leading position in the list “Top 100 gross things some men do”.

Guys, let me make it clear: this is repulsive. Find another way to deal with it if you don’t want to completely disgust your lady.

13. Chew with your mouth open.

“He was chewing with his mouth open, and I found it incredibly sexy!” – said no woman ever.

Can you imagine Alain Delon (or any other REAL gentleman) sitting across the table from the lady of his choice and chewing gum with his mouth open? You can’t, right? Neither can any woman so please, for the love of God, stop doing it! Chewing sounds are incredibly repulsive and even when we can’t see your tongue’s dance with this little piece of mint flavour that you consider your ticket to a proper good night kiss, we can still tell you don’t have manners. And while the mint taste may be a tempting idea, we’re more prone to buying our own chewing gum than kissing you.

By Nina Alexander

Nina is the big sister. She's a marketing professional by day, traveler by heart, tech geek, bookworm, beer lover and an amateur photographer. Her motto is Friedrich Nietzsche's famous quote "And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music."

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